Ciao Going Expat people!
With this article I want to focus on the expat blues and that feeling of loneliness that can conquer us from time to time.
Moving to a new country is often portrayed as this glamorous, life-changing adventure, and it certainly can be. But let’s be real: it also comes with its fair share of challenges.
One of the biggest? Loneliness and isolation. It’s something that many expats experience, but it’s not always easy to talk about. So, if you’re feeling a bit lost and disconnected in your new home, know that you’re not alone. The topic is so common that there are also experts who are taking care to support who is in need and is struggling.
I had the pleasure to have a chat with one of them, Kevin and you find here the YouTube video that we recorded together.
From one Expat to all Expats, let’s try to navigate the Expat Blues and see how to face these feelings together.
The Reality of Expat Loneliness:
It’s easy to romanticize expat life, dreaming of bustling markets, stunning landscapes, and thrilling adventures. And it is all of that. But the truth is, building a life from scratch in a foreign land can be incredibly isolating. You’re away from your familiar support system – family, long-time friends, and those comforting routines.
That initial excitement can wear off, leaving you feeling a bit… adrift.
I remember when I first moved to Rotterdam, I came here with someone, for someone. When the relationship took a different path than expected, I was lost. In fact, he was not only my partner but for a while, also my only source of social life.
In the meantime many things happened, I lost a job, but I have worked there for less than 6months, therefore I had no rights to get unemployment benefit, I had then to find another apartment, less expensive, and he was back in Spain (where we met) moving on with his life.
I was sure I wanted to stay in Rotterdam, and I needed to do something. That´s when I decided to take action (as I always do!)
Why Does It Happen?
- Loss of Familiar Support: Leaving your home country often means leaving behind the people you rely on the most.
- Culture Shock: Adjusting to a new culture can be overwhelming, making it difficult to connect with locals initially. It can also happen due to language barrier. If you’re not fluent in the local language, communication can be a struggle, further isolating you. Therefore please, stop saying and believing that speaking Dutch is not important or needed in The Netherlands. I will help you in your professional and social life.
- Building a New Routine: Establishing a new routine takes time, and in the meantime, you might feel rootless and lacking a sense of belonging.
What can we do to overcome this feeling?
Okay, so you’re feeling lonely. Now what? Here are some actionable tips:
- Embrace the Power of Networking: As said in previous articles, The expat community is often incredibly welcoming.
Seek out local expat groups on Facebook, Meetup, or InterNations. Attend events, even if you feel awkward. Just showing up is half the battle! You can find your tribe through shared interests. In fact it is easy to join a book club, a hiking group, a cooking class, or any activity that aligns with your passions. This is a great way to meet people with similar interests. And as I often say: Your circle of friends is just a social event away - Learn the Language (Even a Little): Even a basic understanding of the local language can make a huge difference. Sign up for a language course or use language learning apps like Duolingo or Babbel. Locals will appreciate your efforts, and you’ll feel more connected.
- Volunteer Your Time: Volunteering is a fantastic way to give back to your new community and meet people who share your values. Look for opportunities at local charities, animal shelters, or community centers. I have to admit that I haven’t done it (yet) but I know of so many other expats who found their community through volunteering, and I guess it is beautiful, isnt’ it?
- Be Proactive in Reaching Out: Don’t wait for invitations to come to you. Take the initiative to invite colleagues for coffee, ask a neighbour for recommendations, or organize a small get-together. Especially if you come from a more social or “warm” country, do not aspect Dutchies to be the ones to invite you over or for any activity, take action and move the first step, they’ll follow!
- Embrace Solo Activities: While building connections is essential, it’s also important to enjoy your own company. Explore your new city on your own, visit museums, try new restaurants, and embrace the freedom of solo adventures. There is nothing worse than waiting for others to do anything you like. Just go out there, only good things can come towards you.
Of course every single element that I have described above requires a lot of energy, stepping out of your comfort zone, and time!
Be patient with yourself, give yourself time and do not do everything in once. You want to build a social life not ending up in burn out.
If your feelings of loneliness persist or start to affect your mental health, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Many therapists specialize in working with expats and can provide valuable support.
Loneliness and isolation are real challenges of expat life, but they are not insurmountable. By taking proactive steps to build connections, embrace your new community, and nurture a positive mindset, you can conquer the expat blues and create a fulfilling life abroad.
Have you experienced loneliness as an expat? What strategies have you found helpful?
Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!
As always if you want to tell me more about your case, reach me out!
Ciao!
Rossella
