Hello Going Expat people,
Today an article different from the usual. I will not tell you about trips, I will not give you information about life abroad and I will not talk about traditions.
What am I talking about? I talk about the challenges we have to deal with in this life that we have chosen, and how, sometimes, it is difficult to accept that certain things happen (or do not happen) in our expat country. Yes! The things, or at least some, for which we left our country, can recur everywhere and put us in crisis like never before.
So what do we do?
Challanges and exptectactions: It’s not all roses!
If you follow me on social media, and even better if you know me personally, you know that I am often positive and optimistic, although I also deal with reality and so I am not out of this world and I do not believe that there are no challenges and negative things, I have lived many directly and indirectly. Just like everyone else.
What I mean is that it is not easy to take off my smile or to stress me out. I do 100 things a day, and when I do 90 I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing.
But let’s come to us, because this is certainly not a self-celebrative article.
What often happens in the mind of an expat? Who has left because they felt undervalued? Who wanted a country and a more meritocratic work situation?
Above all, what happens in the head of someone who thought they could trust the process and the system, when these certainties collapse, and almost the same thing that years before “drove you crazy” in the country from which you proudly left, repeats itself?
You feel stupid, you think you’ve done everything wrong and you’ve overestimated yourself, but above all, how do you tell everyone that certain things happen everywhere and it happened to you again, right there where you thought it wouldn’t happen?
We’re not super heroes
Although it is easy to think of the word failure in this scenario, the right one is experience and it is normal that some happen. But you live them as a failure.
I came abroad for various reasons, among these reasons there was the possibility of career, meritocracy, that dream to make that extra step that has been also promised… but it didn’t happen and, now, I feel like I took the wrong measures. Can I still try? Of course! But now I feel like I don’t have the strength.
The first word that comes to mind is failure, and I wish it was not so, and rationally I know it is not so… but emotions take over. So I decided to write it and maybe I will tell you about the emotions, the beautiful and ugly feelings, the roller coaster of expatriation in a book that maybe I will write this year!
But in the meantime, here I am, to tell you that we all think we have failed, that the world falls on everyone, but we can all get up and above all we can see what the differences are and what makes us say that in the end, even at this stage, we made the right choice.
We are not super heroes, or maybe, in our own little way, we all are?
Despite everything, I made the right choice!
I’m experiencing a lot of stress, but you know what? I can take a break from work without being laughed at, without this affecting me later, without being called weak and unfit for work under stress. I never read the request to work under stress here in the Netherlands, anyway.
Mental health in this country is of greater importance, more than physical health! Companies have more or less intensive support programs, doctors (GP and corporate) help you feel comfortable in the choices you face.
Depending on the work you do and the years of seniority in the company you can ask for a sabbatical, unpaid of course, but in general (always considering the above variants) 3 months are manageable.
If the situation worsens, absence due to burn-out is absolutely guaranteed and not, you should not give explanations of anything.
If I think back to when I was stressed in Italy, the little importance that the company gave to this aspect, the total lack of support, then I tell myself that yes, I made the right choice, despite everything!
Because Wonderland does not exist, because we all have problems everywhere BUT how problems can be managed, the serenity of being able to manage them, that is not everywhere.
What is your experience? would you like to tell me about it in the comments?
See you soon
Rossella
